Rising Tensions, Sinking Hope

There is a famous Eksi Sözlük topic named Türkiye’den siktir olup gitmek with over 15.000 entries, which can roughly be translated as “To Fuck Off and Leave Turkey”. Okay, that is too rough of a translation for my standards, due to cultural differences it is very hard to provide the same sense as it does in Turkish. It literally means leaving with probably burning bridges and cursing the situation with an angry and fed-up attitude. Under the topic many contributors either tell their leaving story, how are they doing at the moment and some others try to play it with nationalism card and criticise the well educated people not fighting back the odds and stay in the country at any costs. Some nationalist idiots go as far as branding the leaving bunch as traitors (that is not the stupidest thing written, to be honest).

Note: There is an approximate Turkish translation of this article. // Bu yazının yaklaşık bir Türkçe çevisi şuradan okunabilir.

All Hope Abandon…

People fed up with working conditions, unbalanced taxation of goods, being insulted on a daily basis by the highest office in the nation, economic instability, some idiots preparing hit lists in case of an “emergency”, religion-originated regulation of daily affairs, general highly-spread idiocy, iron grasp of Islamic politics, jailed journalists, naming keyboard-wielding clowns as journalists, protection of pro-government criminals, criminalization of freedom of speech and other basic human rights, blocking the works of opposition-won mayors in metropolitan municipalities by proponents of the governing party, excruciatingly high volume Islamic chants from mosques for the last two months to combat the pandemic (they actually do this) bleak present, uncertain future… We are not safe here. This country is not ours, but those whom want to kill us, as author Tezer Özlü puts it.

All hope has abandoned us long before the very gates of hell.

Work, Life, and Others

I am working for AMD for 20 months now. I am not working at AMD since I am employed through an agency and I am “the agency” basically. I was offered a position as marketing manager but that turned out to be no managerial role. I will not wade into the depths of corporate affairs but it turned out to be, even though I have my own region along with seven other regional representatives, just a paperwork heavy emailing job. It is quite vicious circle with some intervention from real stakeholders. I just execute and chase after the papers. I am bored. They told me before that AMD was an email company. That was okay with me. It was not told that the job would be this much paperwork oriented. I earn little, do little; I believe that is what is expected. It comes to me as I am wasting my creative abilities. Talking about creativity, I learned much Photoshop and also had to practise lots of Adobe Premiere. I began with Premiere Rush but soon had to turn to Premiere. Another skill that I will not make use professionally in the future. I see no future since AMD is the smaller competitor and they tend to keep the agencies as agencies, only wielders of critical information and strategic workers are made employees (either contractors or permanents). It is all about operational expenditures (OPEX) vs. billable running costs.

With the situation at hand, local team does not need me, Berkin. They can have someone who is more eager to do what I do and do it even with a lesser expenditure. I’ve been working for 17 years and not doing something creative, nor having a future in a company bores me to the death. Of course being at the heart of silicon industry and releasing products in a relentless pace is what keeps hearts warm, but I feel that I am an outsider with no ladder to climb into the company itself. It would be great if I could join the AMD team in München. I know Bavaria is quite expensive to live but I know that the team is great. I can sustain there.

Applications for Berlin

I love Berlin. I visited the city four times now and I saw that it is a great place to work and live. Also, Germany provides good healthcare since I should occasionally visit doctors for my persistent health issues. I made many job applications through Glassdoor and Linkedin to live and work in Berlin. But everything came to an halt because of the pandemic. I also had a ticket for München for the end of May, but it has been cancelled, I was going for touristic reasons but I also intended to visit AMD office there.

There is no heaven on earth, I know. There is no good, only better. Since I am quite unfit for local culture of Middle Eastern countries, I turn my face towards Europe, where I can culturally blend in, not be judged with medieval mindset, threatened less by random acts of state violence, not being have to fight for basic human rights, not being insulted on a daily basis by the head of the state… You name it.

A Shakespearean Farewell

Anyways, I am fed up with this country. I pay more income tax than an average corporation pays corporate tax. My intention is to move to Germany preferably in the beginning of 2021. Let’s wrap it up with a few lines from Macbeth:

I am settled, and bend up
Every corporal agent to this terrible feat
Away, and mock time with fairest show
False face must hide what the false hearth doth know

To be honest, the feat is not terrible, it is just basic human need to move way from where you do not belong and actively being ostracised. For mocking time with ordinary affairs, I already told you all what I am willing to do, that is not a secret. And of course, my heart is true, no deceptions, no hidings or murders of any sort will happen.

I am just packing up and letting you know.


3 comments on “Rising Tensions, Sinking Hope

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.